To be fair and objective, I decided to wait a couple days before posting about my long weekend run to make certain that I could put it into perspective first. A couple things about this run make it somewhat special; First, it is both the longest distance and the longest time duration that I have ever completed in a single 'run', a new PR on distance (18.14 miles) and duration(2 hrs, 44 mins and 4 secs). Second, this is the second to longest run of the entire training regimen. 18 miles... I have been looking at the schedule daily for the better part of 3 months now, and have somewhat lost perspective on how far that actually is. Saturday slapped me right across the cheek and gave me a real hard reminder of exactly why this is called a marathon. After runs of 5,10 and 5 miles and a single days rest I knew this would be a difficult day... but it turned out to be my most difficult so far.
This run was destined to be difficult from the beginning, but there were also a few extenuating circumstances that made it even more arduous. To start with, I got very little sleep the night before (due to some personal stuff I will not discuss here, but just know that the minutes actually slept were few and far between). About 7:30 am I gave up trying to sleep and checked the weather and I knew I was in for it. It was 22 degrees with sustained NW winds of 25 mph with gusts up to 35. Great. I have long since decided that weather would be a non-issue, and geared myself up to go. This time I took two 16 oz. water bottles, and 4 powerbar gel packs. Before I rolled, I ate 2 packs instant oatmeal, 2 bananas and 1 large cup of coffee.
I left the house and the first 4 miles were super easy(no hip pain at all, THANK GOD), basically with the wind at my back and the sun on my face. It was easy to stay warm, but I could just tell that my mind was just not right for this big of a push. I knew things were going to get worse as soon as I turned to the west, and boy was I right... According to a wind chill calculator that I found online, if you take into account that it was roughly 25 degrees, I was traveling between 6 and 7 mph (I used 6) and I wasn't running directly into the wind (used 20 mph) it calculated the wind chill at -12.7 degrees. Take on top of this the fact that the wind steals your breath, makes your legs push against a greater force, and the psychological factors... basically the math proves that this really sucked. It was a little better on the 5 mile stretch after making a U turn and running back to the east. The turn directly to the north (at about mile 14) is when this run morphed from something uncomfortable to something absolutely brutal.
At the time I came to my finish line, I have never been more ready to stop doing something than at this point in time. I felt emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and freaking cold. I was as profoundly miserable as I have ever been, yet at the EXACT same time I was as proud of myself and as completely satisfied as I have ever been. This illustrates to me perfectly that there is no pleasure without the existence of pain. So embrace the pain... The more intense and total that the pain is, the more your capacity to understand and appreciate the moments that are most important. I have never suffered from cancer, but I do understand what it feels like to have to force yourself just to take a single step. What I am still working to understand is what it feel like when it is your life in the balance.
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